I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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