Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
