"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
