Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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