the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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