I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
