But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize