God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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