Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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