dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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