How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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