I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
