the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
