i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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