U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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