this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize