Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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