Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize