you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
