she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
