his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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