YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
