Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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