We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
