I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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