I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so let's talk penis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
