Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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