Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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