that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
