he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
