Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
