Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

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(970): Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public. http://tfl.nu/mhvb

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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(763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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(413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem

Replies (23) Good night (3495) Bad night (411)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

I believe so, yes.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?

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(479): I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing? (1-479): I believe so, yes. (479): Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you? http://tfl.nu/chrd

Replies (46) Good night (2260) Bad night (759)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.

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(651): News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks. http://tfl.nu/z0bt

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(912): View more from Georgia

Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony

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(912): Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony http://tfl.nu/e5l6

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(516): View more from New York

I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.

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(516): I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified. http://tfl.nu/1mep

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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(814): Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me? http://tfl.nu/l0ft

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(319): View more from Iowa

Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

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(319): Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/l6fh

Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (344)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.

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(832): No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare. http://tfl.nu/aa8b

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(210): View more from Texas

I want to own their dicks and all the attachments

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(210): I want to own their dicks and all the attachments http://tfl.nu/6rti

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(307): View more from Wyoming

The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

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(307): The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9x49

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(620): View more from Kansas

Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

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(620): Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams. http://tfl.nu/9m3g

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.

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(701): Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year. http://tfl.nu/wvcz

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(360): View more from Washington

it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me

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(360): it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me http://tfl.nu/wv06

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