I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.