I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek