Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.