How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.