and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
