he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize