Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
