The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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