He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
