I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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