ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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