He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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