Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
