You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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