You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
