We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
