He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My liver just broke up with me...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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