if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
