Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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