textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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