Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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