Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
