you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
