I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
