in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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