oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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