He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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